germanystuck: ridemelikevixen: is rping sex a good preparation for the real thing cause i have a lot of fancy adjectives to use the one time i tried rping anything like that she fell asleep on me so yeah i’d say so practically the same
blein: sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
rareredmeat: djkalteraphine: miaman: shoutout to the best shirt eveerrr sorry didn’t you mean I dunno, this couple’s got style
Have Some Candy~!: Headcanon #2301 →
ask-nicelander-gene: guiltyhipster: ask-nicelander-gene: wir-headcanons: Gene hates Jack Daniel’s. From: Anonymous Oh please, of course I do! I don’t drink whiskey too terribly often, but when I do, I like it to actually taste like whiskey! Additional…
So my professor was asking questions.
Professor: Who plans on getting married within the next 5-10 years?
Like 3 people: *raises hand*
Professor: Who plans on never getting married?
Me: *raises hand*
Professor: *points me out* why?
Me: It's illegal.
jerkenglish: when people send me dumb asks out of no where
asksassysufferer: SMACK IS WHACK SON
babyferaligator: drunktrophywife: babyferaligator: how much do friends cost $420.69 ok but how much with this coupon i got
madam-hoodie: i mean i get that zacharie is cute and all, but i don’t get when people draw him like a little kid. i mean just listen to that laugh and tell there isn’t a MAN behind that mask
mianaya: grubbsgrady: therealhamster: 2004 was 17 years ago 2004 was only 9 years ago math
too-stoned-to-remember: Why do dogs go mental when they see another dog I imagine that in their heads they’re like THAT IS DOG I AM DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG
iguanamouth: I KEEP THINKING ABOUT DINOSAUR BONES LIKE SOME OF THEM ARE SO FUCKING BIG YOU KNOW PEOPLE USED TO DIG THOSE UP AND THINK THEY WERE FROM DRAGONS THE LARGEST SKULL EVER FOUND WAS OVER 8 GODDAMN FEET LONG FROM A TOROSAURUS THATS FUCKING INSANE IM SO PUMPED ABOUT THIS I LOV E DINOSAURS LETS GO BURN DOWN THE POST OFFICE
imagineyourotp: Imagine your OTP having such hardcore sex that they break the surface they were on.
my ad for beauty products girls putting makeup on like warpaint and kicking people in the face old ladies wearing eyeshadow and getting flocked by hunks who carry them away and crown them queens of their own country girls putting on makeup and then just sitting and eating doritos in front of the computer all day because fuck it that shits for you ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN PLINKY-PLONKY MUSIC...
simpaticonebula: 2 years ago I saw a group of middle school aged Buddhist boys in orange robes who had shaved heads and a little boy saw them and said “Look, Mom! Airbenders!” and at first they laughed but then they told him that they were Airbenders but they weren’t allowed to airbend in public and it was pretty much the greatest thing I’ve ever seen
RoosterTeeth Ahoy: Nightmares. →
roosterteeth-ahoy: A/N; This is my first fanfiction of Mavin, so don’t be too harsh. It’s short and shitty cause I wrote it in English while I was supposed to be reading a play. Oops~ Summary; Gavin has a nightmare about Michael dying in a car crash, and Michael can’t help but comfort the poor man. Pairing; …